youvetoldmelies

Gotta keep holding on

Fri, 01 Dec 2006 03:32:33 GMT

Since Last saturday My eye sight has changed.
Ive learned to love a bit more.
And show that love more.

I Love you Torrye and all of us at applebees will miss you every single day.

Everyone at applebees is my family away from family.
Saturday when it happend it changed everyone in one way or another.
I discovered i didnt want to become a journalist if im going to be made to do
half of the shady shit all of the news teams were doing.

Thanksgiving was good.
Basicully i spent it with lauren with her family, my family and our family [ robbie's house lol ]

and i got a new love in my life.
He sleeps with me everynight.
And calls me every day when i get home from school.
Wanna see his pic?

His name is Ezekial
Well Zeke.
And I love him so much

You all though i had a man did you

Im going to let him say a few words

ik,lv de nk nbhm25;lp;lklx

He's been dienging to do that. [ seriously]

Until next time!

Wed, 22 Nov 2006 17:32:02 GMT

Last night I cried myself to sleep.
And no not because of this stupid drama bullshit because someone voices their opinion to much.

I miss you so much. You were my other half and with the snap of a finger you were gone.

" Oh where Oh where can my baby be? The Lord took her away from me. Shes gone to heaven so ive got to be good, So i can see my baby when i leave this world."

You all think love sucks because you cant find a boyfriend over myspace or some shit like that.
Trying losing one you loved for 4 years to suicide.

Yea. Its not fun at all.

I miss Brad so much.

Woozah!!

Tue, 21 Nov 2006 04:31:58 GMT

Everything has been going so smooth lately.
School [ is kinda better, if one person would shut the fuck up and keep her opinion to herself]
Work is simply amazing! I start server training next week [ money money moneeey MONEY! ]
I love my friends.
Saturday night some people from the bartlett snowflake came in. Yes i did make fun of them because seriously. So many myspace pictures IT FUCKIN LOOKED LIKE IT WAS LIGHTNING!!
And this one dress this chick was wearing. Seriously hunny, if your going to spend mommy and daddies money, spend it on sumthing that looks decent. Jesus.
But it made me think of prom.
I can't wait for it. The person i wanna ask might go with me but i have two in mind.
And if i get rejected by both them say hello to my date Ms. Lauren Jeanette Davis. Lol
I just wanna slow dance with someone i could actually have feelings for. I wanna stand on top of the peabody rooftop and be able to look at the memphis skyline with someone i could fall for.
And the way i wanna ask them is going to be HILARIOUS!!
after thanksgiving im going on a crash diet. And getting sum herbal weight loss shit.
TRIMSPA BABY! [ insert cheesy Anna Nicole Shit here.]

I miss alot of someones right now. Two specifically. Both of you are guys are missed dearly. And i just wished you knew how much you are missed.

Fuck Olive Branch Dude. Seriously.
Fuck . . . . . . Well i dunno. Lol

If i dont post before Thanksgiving All of you have a great and safe one!

Im with Lauren on this one kids

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 23:44:26 GMT

When did everyone get hooked on alcohol or Drugs.
And no its not just Weed. Fucking Acid, shrooms or other bad shit

And when does emo just go too far . . ?

I guess its cause ive been through it already and dont wanna turn back to it.
But damn.

Stay Clear of Texas

Fri, 10 Nov 2006 03:05:54 GMT

Im sick of craigmont.
No its not the teachers.
Its just the stupid DUMB shit that goes on.

I love Hilary Duff in A Cinderella Story
other wise that I HATE THAT NAZI

Come on love run with me
Get the hell out of this town
So we can get a better feel for each other
I'll take you, back to, when you
Remembered how you used to
Just live your life a little for me
Take the time to let it go
Step away and watch me grow

I love the Scene Aesthetic

And now we wonder what happen to those times? Cause id give anything to have you here. . . Tonight

Thu, 09 Nov 2006 05:01:07 GMT

I love The Wedding.
Their frickin amazinggggg!!
ummm SAVE THE BABY SEALS
school is stupid.
Im just sick of the people really. Grades are really good people are just pissing me off.
Prom should be pretty amazing.

I had a dream/vision of what it would be like if i went with this person.
It would be amazing. Of course the date would be nothing except escorting me to prom.

La La La.
Lauren is a dumb jew.

I heart our weather weve been having lately.

I dunno now.

^____________^^

All this time we were pretendin . .

Mon, 06 Nov 2006 04:38:13 GMT

Wow what a night.

Cherry Vanilla inscence floats around my room
while avril lavigne's voice hitches a ride and floats along too.

All while i sit and sort photo's, read through my last past years journal and cry.
Over good and bad of course.

I feel rejuvenated.

Just run with me through rows of speeding cars

Fri, 03 Nov 2006 17:32:32 GMT

The last two nights of fallrush was great! [ well last night wastn cause it went so fast. ]
[200 = ppl saved. Thats Amazing! ]
But one part got me crying and thinking.
I sat there and watched Vincet being pulled down through the doorway of hell and i thought to myself there he goes.
I didnt fall asleep until like 3 last night becaused i stayed up thinking.
I cant do a thing to help him.
But i can pray. And thats i can i do. I dont need to worry anymore i need to just put it all on god.
But this image goes through my head.
He wakes up and sees the angel holding the book of life in his hand. He walks up to the angel tells him his name, then the angel covers his face as Satan comes up from the pits of hell with his demons and takes him away into the firery pits of hell.
I cant imagined not seeing him in heaven.
But now granted im not a perfect person and thats my worst fear not. Not heights, not a car crash.
Its facing that angel and either makin that step into heaven or being dragged into hell.

[ sorry guys i know im ranting. Again. ]

But on the bright side this week has turn out to be pretty good.

Im so sick . . .

Sun, 29 Oct 2006 07:01:57 GMT

Okay, back during the summer my dad gives my aunt this lecture bout me needing stability.
Now, He wants to move and marry some random bitch named Kathy. [ shes not random to him but to me she is]

Im 18 years old. I shouldnt have to deal with dumb ass shit like this.
My dad is a crazy person. And yes i just now figured it out. I mean he asks me what i think about him marrying her and gets upset because i say i dont like the idea.

I DONT EVEN KNOW THE FUCKING WOMAN!!

My is basicully throwing a meaningful relationship away and going to another.
God what i would give to have one meaningful relationship.

What i would give to have stability.

and i would give sooo much to have my mom back.

Guys all i can really say now is if your religous pray for me. If your not just please think good thoughts for me. Because im really just a ball full of emotions and i dont really know what to do.

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 03:14:34 GMT

I want to get my septum pierced so bad.
I have a crush and its kinda wierdddddd.
More hilarious than anything.
Ironic?
I love The Wedding.
Damnit Pastor Chad for not letting them play
>___<

Things have been good lately.
It should stay this way.

Takin my love for granted baby -

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 03:33:23 GMT

OMFG I GOT MY APPLICATION FOR MEMPHIS COLLEGE OF ART TODAY!!!!!!

[ im excited can you tell?!? ]

Last few days ive been thinking about how someone can just drop other people. Or not nessecarily drop them just you know forget? Your best friend then someone walks along and BAM! forgotten by by woo hoo see u later homie.
Then i thought. Wow i cant believe i did this. Sheesh. Anywho.
I love Lauren Davis. She is myyyyyyyy little wall i can lean back on when things turn to shit. She wont judge me shit like that.

We are going to get a apt. sometime. Today just walking around Kelseys Apt. made me just more eager to get one. To have my one home. Decorated like i want it. My own food, pictures, tv, music, bed, possibly my own cat or dog. Get what im saying. When lauren goes into master im going to have to find a third person. So i wont have to pay rent all on my own.

Wow how time flys. Im likin it tho.

Sat, 21 Oct 2006 14:18:41 GMT

So about a year ago i bout this book called "Rainbow Boys"
read it. loved it. wanted more of it. [ lol ]
Well its basicully about three gay guys in high school.
Found out there were two more books
Bough the second one last week.
And the third one last night. I love reading.

I bought my shaggy costume last night. I should look cool. Lol!!

Last Friday,

Tue, 17 Oct 2006 01:20:01 GMT

Last Friday we had a college fair down at the Cook Convention Center.
I brought along a couple of my pictures and journalist articles.
Sat down at the Memphis college of Art table and basicully was told from a photography major That i would be able to get a full ride to MCA with pictures like that. I was told to go down November 4th to open portfolio day and to sit down and have a chat with the professor of Photography. And the guy wasss cutttttte!!
Columbia art school in chicago told me the same. Better thing with that college They have journalism also. The girl was amazingly happy and i loved it!!
The Art Institute of Seattle [ and other u.s locations] were very impressed with my pictures

So along with having a good birthday, I had a good college fair experience!!!!!!
The weather today was great. I loved it. Me and RyRy went to the mall and enjoyed looking at hot guys, eating food and looking at random shit.

Its gonna be alright, Its going to be a good day.

It's alright, Cause im alright with me.

Mon, 16 Oct 2006 02:25:58 GMT

well i dont know what to think about this weekend.
It was amazing.
Would of been better if there were two people around
No, their not not who you think.
My Mom and Megan
[dontworrynotaskingforafriendshipagainjuststatingfacts]
It felt strange with out her their on my birthday.
The last 2 years she's been their.
I dunno.
SO i got cake shoved into my face again last night. By my brother.
And he told me he was going to get me a MotoRAZR phone for my bday but it haddnt come in yet.
So i opend the bag he gave me for my bday and theres a MotoRAZR phone box.
I open it up and BAM! a Gilette mach 3 razor. I was like you bitch.

I miss my mom.

I say to myself,
Self, why are you awake again? It's one a.m.
Standing with the fridge wide open, staring
Such a sight, florescent light
The stars are bright
Might make a wish, if I believed in that shit but
As it is, I might watch TV
Cause it's nice to see people more messed up than me
I say to myself, as I smile at the wall, just let myself fall

It's gonna be all right, no matter what they say
It's gonna be a good day, just wait and see
It's gonna be alright, cause I'm alright with me
It's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gotta be

Sat, 14 Oct 2006 16:15:37 GMT

Im finally 18.
Yes!
Last night i bought my first two packs of cigarettes. It was 12:15.
And the lady carded me. Everyone told me i wasnt going to get carded and i did!
Last night was just simply amazing.
Grudge 2
TGIFridays
Freeman with wonderful cake my ry ry made
Wal*mart
Gas station to buy cigarettes
Home with Jennifer and Tim
Both spent the night
Watched Silent Hill
Laughed all night and didnt sleep until 5:00

These are the times!

Fri, 13 Oct 2006 11:14:28 GMT

Friday the 13th
yayyyyyyyyy!!!!!!
18 tomorrow
YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!

[im going to have a good few days . . Yepp = ] ]

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 03:58:07 GMT

Cause I'm not here for your entertainment
No
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
Just stop and take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over
Know it's over
Before it began
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight
It's just you and your hand

This is howwwwwww life should be [ really? ]

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 03:47:54 GMT

So hopefully in a few weeks i will be a server at applebees and no longer carside togo.
Thank god.
Im sick of carside.
Ill be a better server cause well i know i will be.
[ im not really here for you entertainment, Dont mess with me tonight ]

Its pretty sad im going to have to pawn some xbox games and a couple of dvds for money for my own bday. I mean seriously. >_< This whole money thing is bringing me down. Alot.
[ just give me the money and leave]

Good news i turn 18 3 or 4 days. Woo.

[ i really like this pink song. Alot!! ]

Friday night should be fun. I hope. I hope for no drama or insanity. Maybe there will be none.
Knowing my luck there will be.

Whats the worse that could happen

[Just let me have my fun tonight, Aight? ]

[all lyrics from P!nks U + UR Hand. Amazing song ]

Sun, 08 Oct 2006 06:51:40 GMT

18 in one week.
tattoo that saturday.
That one boy. He makes me smile.
= ]
RedJumpsuitApparatus Nov. 4 at SPOM
Getting nominated for that awards ceremony pretty much made me pretty happy.
I might get to meet Stevie Wonder. ^__^
Cream Soda.
Laguna Beach [ lol i luv you ryan ]
Meat Munchers . . hehe
Going to a college fair at a school i dont goto and in a shelby county school. lol

Wowzaz!

Wed, 04 Oct 2006 21:44:52 GMT

ha ha.

thats funny.

Tue, 03 Oct 2006 21:47:57 GMT

YEPP this will be one of those entries.

First of all. I am Smart. And i probably will end up going to Southwest. Guess what? That doesnt mean in dumber than you. Cause i can transfer to another school. Im sorry i fucked my 9th and 10th grade cause i missed alot of school. I just wanted to be with my dying mother.

im not stupid. But im not perfect either.

I might be gay and yea i know being gay is a sin. But God loves me either way. Just like he loves everyone else. So dont try to rub that shit in my face. I rub it in my own face too much.

THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH GATEWAY AND OR HOMESCHOOLING
Not a damn thing wrong with it.
Fuck who ever says there is somthing wrong with it.

I miss you. Maybe a phone call soon if you didnt mind.
And honestly i know what it feels like. Karma is a bitch.
Again im Sorry.

EstelaJon!!!!!!!!!

[sorry i had to rant. havent in a while.]

Sun, 01 Oct 2006 00:36:29 GMT

I have to tell him before he moves.
I just jave to. Maybe if i do a miracle will happen,

and he wont leave me

You wanna go,
And as you open up the door,
You change your mind,
I'm not something to leave behind.
You'll never know,
All these things I feel inside,
I wanna show you,
There's nothing out there to find.
Oh baby I, I wanna make you see,
There's nothing more to fear,
Cause everything's right here.

Fri, 29 Sep 2006 03:24:16 GMT

He's moving to Olive Branch in November.
I'll never get to see him after those long nights at work again.

Ive locked these feelings away for awhile now.

Do i let them out?

Pain

Tue, 26 Sep 2006 03:35:27 GMT

In two weeks i turn 18.
I get to buy cigarettes.
I get to get piercings, tattoos etc.
I can get into clubs.
Later Curfew.
Better Job offers.

and you know what i think about that, Woo Hoo...
Seriously I mean when your younger " i cant wait till i turn 18 and can do so and so and this and that"
Now that its getting closer i could care less.
I know im stupid.

I have no hate or drama right now in my life and it feels nice.
I feel the fall winds brush in my hair as i drive Laila down Billy Mayer [ country road ]
Sun going down Earlier now. I have to admit i am in a more peaceful set of mind.
I have to admit i would give the world to have last years fall back.
I had you. We were close knit. Phone calls and everything. I miss it. Part of me wants to call you up again but if i did it would fuck everything that was said the other night. And like i said all i call for is alittle peace.

and I love you Lauren Davis. You are one mean muggin bitch. I dean you FREAKING AMAZING.
and you are one tuff cookie and i love you. Yummmie Cookies

Okay guys going to smoke my cares away. Later loves.

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 04:25:08 GMT

had fun with adam carae and ry at the park tonight

Good Times.

Peeing on trash cans and stripping on bird house polls.

Ohh yea and the scent of Ass through the air.

Lol. <3